Offline luxury

     It’s quite difficult to keep the thought traffic in control. With a constantly buzzing cell phone in hand, I often forget what I was thinking about and keep scrolling up and down my screen. To get a way out of the buzz, I simply turn off my internet while I am outdoors.     

   Believe me, my mind suddenly gets a breathing space. Out of all the time spent outside, I make sure at least 30% is given to myself where I can sit somewhere or walk somewhere alone. When I share this with anybody, they say, “ Why alone? You could have called me. I would come with you.” Then I say in my mind, “ That’s what I don’t want. I don’t want you to come and disturb me”. This sounds selfish, but I really can’t help it because I’ve grown into it. I am a single child. I’ve always played alone at home with my dolls.  My childhood was not surrounded by too many friends or cousins unlike the present. I love to be alone and being alone has never made me feel lonely. 

    The reason behind being alone and being happy is I get to decide what I want, where do I want to go, what do I think about, what do I eat, what do I do with my time. I don’t have to listen to anybody but my heart and do what it tells me to do. 5 to 6 months back, I was going to college by bus. I got down near my college. I saw another bus coming towards me. That bus was going to Marine Drive. I always wanted to go there alone. I thought for a few seconds and as the bus stood in front of me, I got in. I am sure if I had someone with me, he or she would hesitate and I would fail to convince them and end up doing what they want me to do. 
  
   My friends wonder what I do when I am alone and what keeps me entertained. I listen to songs on a high volume on my headphones and I choreograph a song in my mind. Vicariously, I am already dancing in front of a great audience. If I am at home, I close the door of my room and dance like I am dancing in an Award show. If I am in a coffee shop, I am totally indulged into the coffee I am drinking or reading the menu card  in order to find out ways to improvise it.  If I am in the train, I listen to what everyone is talking. I often yawn purposely to find out who’s looking at me. If I am in taxi or auto, I am busy making sure I am safe. To make it more safer, I start talking to the driver about roads, traffic or anything just to create a friendly environment in that vehicle. I don’t know if this looks like fun to anybody, but to me it looks like the best time I’ve given to myself. 
   
   When I step into an unknown street, I observe everything carefully. I am very good with roads. My best friend says, “ You can be a good driver”. When I step out of that street, I exactly know how I found my way out. I think that’s the beauty of it. When I am in a taxi, I look outside the window and try to look at everything that that my eyes can reach out to. On the contrary, I’ve observed my friends, they look into their cell phones. I can’t begin to explain them what are they missing out on. I love to wander in my thoughts; thoughts that make me do what I do. 

   All this while, my internet is off and there’s so much of space and peace around. And as I reach home and the WiFi gets connected automatically, my wandering thoughts die a slow death. I immediately cling to the social media again. The phone captures my time until I go to bed and even after that when I pretend to sleep, but actually I am checking the latest updates on Instagram under my blanket.